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But jokes

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

Lil Jimmy: Why?

Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!