Business jokes
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Okay here's your funny joke!
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.