Business jokes
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
I have a nun joke! It is nun-ya business!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.