Business jokes
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.