Business jokes
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
What store is the most public?
Publix!