Business jokes
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:
"Cashier: Which one?"
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
What store do orphans never go to?
Home Depot 🤣
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.