Burning

Burning jokes

Boy

  • Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

    Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

    Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

    "So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

    "Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

  • 1
  • Male

  • I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

    Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

    But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

    Men have to go to war on the front lines.

    Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

    Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

    Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

    We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

    And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

    It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

    I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

    Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

    Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

    (This event can be done worldwide.)

    Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

    (I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

    But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)

    Trash

  • I remember you. You used to be an ash.

    I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

    Pineapple

  • One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,

    "You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."

    Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"

    Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......

    And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.

  • 3
  • Bout

  • Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

    Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

  • 0
  • Mouth

  • I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

    Orphan

  • I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

    Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

    Sun

  • 🌍: You're so hot!

    🌎: How are you single?

    ☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!