Burial jokes

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?" I answered, "6 feet underground."

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.

Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.

When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.

Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"