Burial jokes
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?