I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
