I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy, It usually takes me days
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
[being buried alive]
murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death? No funeral costs
Why is the graveyard so noisy...
Because of all the coffin :)
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
The Earth was flat once. 'Till yo mama got buried
