Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
