I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
