what does the twin towers and my ads condom both have in common they both broke and everbody cried
i awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
I was playing basket ball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.
I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers yours are already broken.
My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake
dad- HONEY
mom- what
dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed
mom- WHAT!?
children- *staring*
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
whats the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? nothing, we're both broken
Hairline got cut by a broken tea cup.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
What do u call a fat person in a wheelchair A broken wheelchair
Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken
i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
Me:dad my phone is broken Dad:how Me:i clicked the home button but im still at school Dad:stupid
How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious ?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am goona kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom we still need him who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
little johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back." to which the robber says "FUCK YOU I don't wanna." little johnny calls the police and says " A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse. the police said "how old are you." little johnny then hangs up the phone
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
