Broken jokes
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 馃槪 What鈥檚 wrong with me?
Doctor: You鈥檝e broken your finger.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did one snow 鉂勶笍 man say to itself? My arm is broken.
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it鈥檚 quite pointless.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
You鈥檒l parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn鈥檛 broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
I entered Kian's house. At the top of the stair, I was greeted by my greatest fantasy, JOHN. He said in a manly tone, "Hello there." I walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back. As I walked past his room, I felt uneasy. I walked into Kian's room to find no one. I turned around and gasped. John is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer. He pushed me onto Kian's bed. The bed was that bad it broke as I fell onto it. John says, "A broken bed is nothing to worry about." I look up at him in disbelief, he's more masculine than I thought. He thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch. He then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point I knew it was too late John, the fart he ripped (sticky to the touch) had me so in shock I wasn't ready for what was next, he picked and jumped on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadly, sticky to the touch fart I'd ever seen, it knocked me out. I awoke to find I was in the WALLS. I looked out to find I was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, I fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, I heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" I then knew I was in for some Kian treats.
The end