Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks!
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Takis.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
