Brand jokes

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

What are cheetahs' favorite chips?

Cheetah Puffs!

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahahaha!

Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks!

What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?

Ad-lib-idas.

What is Spiderman's favorite rice?

Uncle Ben's.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.