Brand

Brand jokes

Lynx

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

Pervert

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

Chandelier

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Nut

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

Memes

Yeast infection

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Suicide

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

Pizza

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

Soda

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

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  • Paint

    Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

    House

    What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

    We're all empty on the inside.

    Hairline

    Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.