Brand jokes
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
A blue Winston.
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.