people say your body is 75% is water while mine 100% full of coffee
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
I used to be a man in a womanโs body. And then I was born.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
