Body jokes
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Your fat!
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Lick my nut.
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.