Body jokes
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
Memes
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.