My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Body Jokes
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
Butthole.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
I have a fat ass.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.
