Body jokes
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
“I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body” = you’re a weak man who was blindly brainwashed into being a woke joke.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Yo momma is so old, she farts dust!
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.
This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...