Body jokes
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
They are hairy.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.
Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?
Eat my ass!
Is "butt check" one word, or do I have to spread it?
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!