Body jokes

Q: What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? A: A tromBONE.

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit."

Eat my ass!

Is "butt check" one word, or do I have to spread it?

Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!