Body jokes
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Your d*** size...
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
It's snot fair!
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."