Body jokes
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.