Body jokes
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.