Body jokes
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.