Body jokes
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Fart <3
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
My dick.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
I sucked your mom's anus.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"