Body jokes
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I slit my wrists.
Is "butt check" one word, or do I have to spread it?
PP in the poo poo.
Lol, I have a teeny black dick.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.