Body jokes
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."
Henry jas Mercury in Uranus.
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
It's snot fair!
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.