Body jokes
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Why was the fanny flat?
So it can flop about.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"