Body jokes

I poo 11 times a day.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

My ass itches.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

What's the artist imagine something?

Imagine Dragons!

Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.

Hey! My balls are on your thing!

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!