I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Body Jokes
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
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What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
