What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Ur dick.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Verga.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
