Body jokes
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Can you see me?
Swallow cum, not gum.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
Yo mama so fat, she takes up all the space.
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.