Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."