Body

Body jokes

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You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

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    • I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

    So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

    That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

    Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

    Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.

    A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.

    "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.

    "What is it?" The doctor asks.

    "I can't feel my legs!"

    The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.

    ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

    I hate these double standards.

    If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

    My friend asked me:

    Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

    Me: "1 million."

    Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

    Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

    Friend: "Oh."

    What did the man's dick say to the man?

    I just can't "hand"le it!