Blue Jokes

Weird and Weird.
in Funny

What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: “Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?” “The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien.” (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

Gwen
in Funny

Ppl pls check out Tenya’s jokes. girl. love. cheetah. blue jokes!

That guy

Roses are red violets are blue Ukraine will go puff

Anonymous

Roses are red violets are blue cause comes near my Willy

Anonymous
in Roast

sigh Roses are red Vilots are blue you are so ugly do not tell me that is really you

Rose’s are Red Violets are Blue I’ve got Genital Wart’s, Soon you will too-

Iconic Memester
in Nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. “Chuck, how ya doin’? The missus doin’ good?” "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I’m done." This caught the bartender by surprise. “Chuck, come on, don’t be sayin’ that. Just look to the future and you’ll be fine.” “What future?” Chuck replied in a huff. “My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they’ll all suffer, and I don’t want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don’t know what to do.” “You know, you’ve got a good heart for a rooster your age,” Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I’m tellin’ ya, there will be more than what’s happenin’ right now, ya know, life’s got all its gears turning for ya, and there’s just a bit slow right now. The gears haven’t been oiled in a while, but who’s the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken’s Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. “No thanks, Phil,” Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck’s comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked… worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them… and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck’s eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

Helfen

Was blue and black and doesn’t like to have sex… The little girl in my trunk

5
Anonymous
in Anti-jokes

What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth

Anonymous

Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers

2
taylor
in Sun

WHY IS THE MOON RED TODAY?The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

0
RoastMaster
in Roast

To All The Naruto Fans:

         sharingan is red
             rasengan are blue
               if you dare touch my daughter
                    ill chidori you
Female

Roses are red violets are blue your penis smells like stew and I want to eat it too

1
Anonymous

what is blue and sits in a corner ? a baby in a baggy

Anonymous
in Rose

roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in the zoo but don’t you worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at you

Anus McDickNuggets
in Roast

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I saw a monkey yesterday

And thought it was you

Anonymous SU

A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. “Eighteen” the Aussie says, sipping a beer. “She has to be Eighteen”. Okay the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl. “Wtf are you doing” Aussie says? You say this is okay" Muslim replied. “Fuck no she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard” says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily. Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, “what is wrong with you mate?” asks Aussie. Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose ‘a teen’, ‘a teen’, I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!" Aussie: "Eighteen not ‘a teen’ you sick mongrel.

D......fickenkid

What’s Blue and comes in Brownies? Cub scouts.

Anonymous
in Poem

Roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down your mums Facebook will do

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue. He sat on a rock, tckled his cock, until it turned red white and blue