Blow jokes
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
Down will come dummy, cradle and all.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.