Blow jokes
What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?
Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.