Blind jokes
What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
Community talk
an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, leaves the whole world fucking blind and toothless.
(As per Cosmo's request)
Jack opened his drying eyes, awoken by a piercing ray of sunlight shining through crooked blinds. A gentle smell wafted in from the corner of what his temporarily blinded eyes knew to be a dilapidated kitchen. It was the one good thing about his life, that smell. He closed his eyes once more and awaited his call.
“Jacky, breakfast time!” beckoned that oh-so-familiar girlish voice. “Oh, sil… Read more
Where there's a will, there's a way, kind of beautiful And every night has its day, so magical And if there's love in this life, there's no obstacle That can't be defeated For every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable In every lost soul, the bones of a miracle For every dreamer, a dream, we're unstoppable With something to believe in Monday left me broken Tuesday, I was through with hoping Wednesday, my empty arms were… Read more