Blind jokes
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.