Blind Jokes

my blind friend got ran over ............ by a parked car

my wife and i went to the bar to get a drink but 2 mins later i see her dead on the ground i guess she couldent see the bottle flying at her face then i laughed and went home.

????: Omg my Blind Boyfriend cheated on me

Me: what did you expect him to see other hoes...

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.

On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“

Sadly blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind

Sadly he didn't see it coming

A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward. Well, let just say that I see his point.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door....

What's Helen Kellers favourite colour? Corduroy.

Dark Humor: Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap Son: Mom, I'm blind Mom: Exactly Inspired by my derp other half

Why did sally run into a tree? She is blind

Why did the kid who was blind, in jail need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.

I once told a blind orphan hey look at the bright side

How do you punish Stevie wonder for bad behavior? You move all of the furniture around

Blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. The Blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender yells Sir Stop! What are you doing!? The Blind guy say, I'm just looking around.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head, the bartender asks him nervously “are you okay” the blind man replies “yeah I’m just looking around”