Blind jokes
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.