Blind Jokes

why cant the blind man see, because he cant see

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.

a blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

my blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike he should have been paying attention

Kid: Dad whats a dark joke? Dad: well you see that guy over there? tell him to wave. Kid: but dad im blind. Dad: exactly, also the dude had no arm

What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?

Bunk beds

yo mama so blind that when she played fortnite she got she got her vision back got em

why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so dam blind.

I gave a blind man a gun. And told him it was a hair dryer.

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind Manto become a king. I mean, I don't see why not.

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.

when god said let there be light he got blinded because you reflected it of your forhead

Lesbians and blind women, wear the same clothes

There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him. (sans undertale)

What do you call a white men that’s blind Asian eyes

Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"