Birthday jokes

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?

Because no one forgets it! :)

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.

If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:

"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...

YOU WERE BORN!"

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

Why did the guy's birthday party stink?

Because he was turning farty!

That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.

The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.