Birthday Jokes

Why do candles 🕯 like birthdays?

Because they can get lit.

Can emo kids get a happy birthday

Man Everybody Birthday Is This Year🤦🏽‍♂️

: A man dies of old age on his 25 birthday. How is this possible? Answer: He was born on February 29.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party came up for the weekend at the end of the week I was going to get my birthday cake for the day

Hey guess what I got for my birthday. No what did you get? Older

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

for my birthday on sept 11 this year I just want a plane chocolate cake

Me - What do you want to do for your birthday? Fiancé - I want to go somewhere I've never been before! Me - Well welcome to the Kitchen!!

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

I went to the eyedoctor and I couldn't read. they showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!

Me: Hey, mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: Happy birthday to you.., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear____, happy birthday to u Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!..

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a babies birthday party. You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad ya definitely got the last laugh!

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

Wanna know something funny? Well there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage. Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke and then 9 months later I was born. My birthday. (4/1/06) April 1, 2006