Birthday Jokes

How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.

Hi 👋 I love you!

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?

Because no one forgets it! :)

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

I love birthdays 🍰

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,

"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"

The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake! 🎂🥳

What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!

Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.