Birthday jokes
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
I love birthdays 🍰
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.