Birthday jokes

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear

Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:

"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...

YOU WERE BORN!"

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.

Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.