Bike jokes

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?

Because she's dead.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.

Why?

The kid had no legs.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

Johnny: “A new bike!”

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!

Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?

He had no legs.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

What do you call a lesbian on a bike?

A dyke...