Bike jokes
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.