Bike jokes

There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.

The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”

So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.

The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.

The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.

The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.

While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”

My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?

It was too tired.

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!

What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?

Run over.

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.

Why did Gemma fall off her bike?

She got hit by a fridge.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Because it was “two tired”!

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.

Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.