Beverage jokes
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Memes
Champagne
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."
Blake drinks Coke.
Milk (DYM 115).
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".