Beverage jokes
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Champagne
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.