
Beverage jokes
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
What's a darts player's favorite drink? One hundred and eight-tea!
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
