Beverage jokes
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Iron jug.