Beverage jokes
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.