Beverage jokes
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Pop a choccy milk!
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.