I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Beverage Jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Iron jug.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
