Beverage jokes
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
How does a rapper like their coffee?
With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What did the grape say to the rapper?
"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.