How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Why is the rum gone?
