Beverage

Beverage jokes

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Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.