Beverage jokes
Blake drinks Coke.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.