Beverage jokes
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.