Beverage jokes
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.