Beverage jokes
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...
Mountain Dew!
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"