Beverage jokes
I like my coffee like I like my women.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...
Mountain Dew!
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.