Beverage jokes
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...
Mountain Dew!
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.