Better jokes
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.