Better jokes
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What is better, autism or Down syndrome?